“Deep breath in, and deep breath out.”
My daughter loves practicing impersonations – that one was me. We both agreed that for or better or worse, that will be my voice in her head when she is grown.
Deep breathing is my ‘go to’ on many occasions and a skill I learned on my journey with anxiety. I tend toward that side of the spectrum and I also have gone through two periods in my life where I managed the anxiety I experienced with medication. From the jitters, churning stomach, nerves on edge to immense and crushing fear, racing mind and heart, bursting out of your skin, feeling completely out of control – its not a feeling you can forget. However anxiety speaks it is extremely uncomfortable but given the choice of only one voice to listen to inside myself, it is the one I would pick.
Anxiety was the pain of divorcing myself from myself… repeatedly.
There can be no amicability in this type of divorce because there was never two separated parts to begin with. As I sat with anxiety, it was like a GPS for the journey to discover how I had separated from myself and where I had given away myself and my power. Whether I had done this because that is what I had seen modelled for me or what I had needed to do to survive, anxiety was just wanting to bring my attention to this massively painful chasm inside myself.
A few weeks ago, my body was releasing and healing itself from some deep and old trauma. As it was coming up, I found myself having a little wish for that bottle of orange pills. I’m in a different place now than when I needed the meds – and I did need them then – I’ve uncovered many layers, many of them have healed or are doing so. I started with talking to myself the same way I talk to my daughter, “Deep breath in, and deep breath out.” Anxiety had a wonderful message for me and within the hour, I was full of gratitude for getting back another part of myself.
You certainly can take a trip to India to find yourself, but anxiety will lead the way just as well. You can take your victory lap to India instead.