The other day, I went to a storytelling evening. When the last story teller stood up, the energy shifted.
BOOM! This woman took up space!
There was an uncomfortable shifting through the audience.
Karen, a bold woman in fishnet stockings and purple hair, stood up and spoke of a time in her life when everything ‘went wrong’. Her coveted Victorian house burned before she finished renovations and could move in, her beloved dog died, her mother was diagnosed with and passed from cancer, and her husband asked for a divorce – in less than 6 months.
From the way she spoke of herself at that time in her life, I would not have recognized her if her past self could have stood next to the woman in front of me.
She was afraid to agree to the divorce, from a man who gave her a string of pearls, a sweater set and socks for Christmas. She believed him when he said she had no marketable job skills – to the complete bafflement of her friends, co-workers and board members.
The trusted pillars in her life, her mother, special house and dog, were also gone.
What’s a woman to do?
She rises up. Which is exactly what Karen did.
Karen was an example of a woman struggling with what is now known as the Mother Wound.
The Mother Wound is the pain, brokenness and limitations we take on from our mothers, our families and the patriarchal world around us.
It expresses itself in our physical bodies, our minds, our businesses, our emotions, spirituality and essence. It keeps us small and from living the life of our dreams.
It doesn’t mean our mothers were terrible or that there is anyone to blame
AND it acknowledges a deep, deep wounding which cuts to the core.
Even if you don’t have words for it, you have likely noticed it. You might be experiencing:
-yourself as an enabler, the fixer, or the one that holds everyone together, at the expense of yourself
–autoimmune and chronic illness or unexplainable health issues
-a high tolerance for poor treatment in relationships
-a general feeling that there is ‘something wrong with me’
-a need to remain sick, small, or avoid saying no to keep the love of your family and/or friends
–traumatic and/or abandonment issues in connection to your mother or birth mother, even if they seem small to others; being in the NICU, such as adoption, your mother was sick or busy much of the time, or unable to nurture
-illnesses or symptoms in the abdominal area(infertility, PMS, constipation, etc.) or the throat area(thyroid issues, difficulty speaking up for yourself, regular throat infections as a child, etc.)
-that you are switched ‘on’ or ‘off’ at different times or have two ‘modes’ of functioning
Acknowledging and healing from the Mother Wound is the key to the life women today are desiring. It is not about blame, but simply recognition and witnessing of the deep wounds that have been created so they can begin to heal, and a move towards being able to give to yourself what you needed.
If you are a healer, midwife, coach, speaker or leader, looking to take your healing to the next level, Book a Shelter Yourself Discovery Call today.